I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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