Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
