Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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