i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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