ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
