We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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