He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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