You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
