i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize