I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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