there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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