I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Randomize
