sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
