Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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