How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize