she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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