sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
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