He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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