Just mADE A PArabola og urine
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
