you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Be still, my beating vagina.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
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