I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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