i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize