I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
