She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
