i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
