I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Randomize
