If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
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