i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
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I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
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Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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