So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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