why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
I can't put those talents on a resume
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
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