So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Randomize
