What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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