that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
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