# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Randomize
