Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
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