I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
