You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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