dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize