operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
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