Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
