pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
Randomize
