And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
