i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Randomize
