it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
