Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
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There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
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Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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