He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
Randomize