My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
