Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
His nipple licking is glorious
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