is your mom at the bar?
i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
