why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize