So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
