Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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