i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
