I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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