I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
