We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Your penis caused this!
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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