Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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