My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
