I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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