remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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