Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
