Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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