Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
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