I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
