I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
